General

Being In An Open Adoption

If you’ve come across this article while trying to find out, “What an open adoption is all about?” you have come to the right place!

An open adoption simply means the birth mother and the adoptive family know each others identities. Beyond that, it can mean almost anything states “Adoptive Families.”

It is “a form of adoption that allows birth parents to know and have contact with the adoptive parents and the adopted child,” explains a childwelfare.gov document.

Elaborating on the subject Wikipedia defines it, “as a form of adoption in which the biological and adoptive families have access to varying degrees of each others personal information and have an option of contact.”

The adoptive parents hold all the rights as the legal parents, the individuals of the biological and adoptive families may exercise the option to open the contact in varying forms.

Open adoption in the US

What Does an Open Adoption Involve?

While an “open adoption,” involves some level of contact maintained by birth parents and birth family members, with adoptive parents and the adopted child, the level of contact varies.  Contact and communication, in such scenarios may range from the birth parents sending gifts and cards to the adopted child; to going on holidays with him/her, along with the adopted parents. According to the childwelfare.gov document, all open adoptions have some commonalities! 

In an open adoption, “a birth mother-at the time of her pregnancy, usually chooses the adoptive parents for her child.” Moreover, here “the adopted child is also made aware of the fact that, he/she is adopted. Additionally, he/she is also allowed to maintain a relationship with his/her birth parents or birth family members to varying degrees,” the document informs.

“Communication between birth mothers (and sometimes birth fathers, grandparents or other relatives) and adoptive parents may take place through letters, phone calls, e-mails, or visits,” it states.

What You Need to Consider Before Going in for an Open Adoption

While clarifying that

an open adoption does not under any circumstance, mean co-parenting your adopted child with the birth mother or the birth family;

you still needs to be comfortable with some level of contact being maintained! the ‘Adoptive Families’ website clarifies. “You and your family need to have a conversation about what degree of continuing contact is appropriate for your family.

That conversation should take place before you are matched with a birth mother, when your conclusions will be logical, rather than emotional. If you feel that visits with the birth mother are out of the question, be honest. If you agree to more contact than you can manage, that contact will become a source of resentment,” it cautions.

An Open Adoption Does Not Make ‘Adoptive Parents’ Any Less Important

New parents planning to adopt a child may feel insecure about the continuing presence of the birth father and/or the birth mother, in their adopted child’s life. Worries, that even after investing emotionally and financially into bringing him/her up, he/she may still hanker for his/her birth parents can crop up! Fears the birth mother or birth father, may interfere with the adoptive parent’s style of bringing up the child also seem realistic to many!

While all these anxieties are natural, when opting for an open adoption; experts believe there is little cause for worry!

Study after study confirms that adopted children experience no confusion about who is the “real parent” as a result of being introduced to their birth mothers.

Bottom line: Parenting is not a zero-sum equation, where the more open the adoption, the less you are the real parent,” declares the ‘Adoptive Families’ website.

Benefits of an Open Adoption for the Adopted Child

Open adoption can give your child with a sense of connection and completeness. Openness may answer many of the questions adopted children in closed adoptions often struggle to answer such as: Who am I? What are my birth parents like? Why was I placed for adoption?

Open adoption - adoptive parents with birth parents

The American Pregnancy Association, is in agreement and believes that – an open adoption, benefits the adopted child the most! In its opinion-‘an open adoption gives a sense of identity and self-confidence to the adopted child; provide him/her with knowledge about his/her birth parent’s medical history; protects him/her against a feeling of abandonment; removes the yearning in him/her to find his/her birth parents; and empowers him/her with a stronger support base,’ compared to children in closed adoptions.

This article was written by Helen Philips an adoption specialist, who believes that an open adoption is in the best interest of an adopted child.

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