In today’s society, blended families appear to be more commonplace than the traditional nuclear family.
Does being more common make it any easier for blended family members to accept and embrace each other?
Even though a blended family structure is no longer advertised as being the perfect example of dysfunction, it is still not the ideal situation. It remains difficult for all family members to trust each other enough to express genuine affection, especially during special occasions and holidays.
This is why stepparents may need to address certain occasions with a slightly different approach. Valentine’s Day is coming soon. It is a time when people take pleasure in feelings of love, affection and friendship. It is celebrated in many different ways across the world. How will it be celebrated in your home? Typically, Americans focus on the love of a partner during this time period more so than the other aspects of affection.
Consider involving your entire family this year.
The Gift of Promise
There is a perfect Valentine’s Day gift each family member can give each other. and it doesn’t cost a cent – a promise. A promise is intended to be a declaration one will do a particular thing or a particular thing will happen.
Sometimes, a promise was made casually while in a desperate circumstance with no real thought of whether you actually intended to keep it, especially with teenagers. With that in mind, the promise to be made must be for a cause that has had much thought to make sure it has meaning.
The promising party has to truly consider which of their actions contribute to the families’ problems and vow to focus on change for the greater good.
As a stepdad, you can make the first bold step and make a vow to each one of your family members including any children that may be outside the home.
You can write it down and sign it to keep on the wall. Then, you can encourage the others to do the same as a sort of treaty.
If you want to make an even bolder statement, consider buying a ring or bracelet and engrave your declaration into it. For your wife, you can get her a charm bracelet with each charm representing a different statement. Every time she sees it, she will remember the oath you took for her and the children.
For any natural daughters you may have, presenting them with a promise ring is a very profound gesture. Why? Promise rings are typically given to female teenagers from suitors who promise to propose to them one day. Wedding rings represent endless love. Therefore, associating jewelry with dedication is understood and desired at an early age.
Studies show a little girl’s first love is her father and his qualities are what she will seek in her mate. So, make sure the promise you make is one you can keep to help prevent her from casually accepting disappointments. Nowadays, promise rings are not age or gender specific. However, to avoid any awkwardness, do not pressure your son to wear it. You can always provide the option for it to be placed on a necklace.
What Types of Promises Can We Make?
The types of promises that can be made are essentially limitless. Naturally, it would depend solely on the individual’s goals and personal areas desiring improvement. Here are some common ones to lead you in the right direction.
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Promise of Abstinence or Celibacy
This pledge is usually from a child to a parent to refrain from sexual activity. A child may want to show they are trustworthy and are trying to change their life for the better particularly if they have formerly been known to act out sexually.
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Promise of Sobriety
This pledge can be made by any member of the family specifically from those who may have had previous problems in that area. There are numerous unfortunate situations one can find himself getting into surrounding drug and/or alcohol usage. Even though according to Katz & Phillips, P.A. some cases may be defendable, it is best to avoid them altogether.
- Promise of Monogamy
This pledge is for couples who want to reassure each other their love will stay true. A vow of monogamy states despite any possible past transgressions, there will be no other in their place from that day forward. Often, this guarantee is made by a partner who has committed adultery and wants to start anew.
Learning to keep reassurances is a vital aspect of becoming a mature responsible adult. Encouraging your children to take commitments seriously at a young age will help your teenager realize the importance of keeping their word later in life. All this can begin with one bold step from you.
Domonique Powell enjoys finding ways to involve the whole family during special occasions. An informative blog found on the website of Katz & Phillips, P.A. inspired the idea for this article.
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/22901163@N03/4390841201/
